The Older Woman and The Fine Art of Not Giving a Fuck


I’m hearing more and more young women (and men) using the phrase, “I don’t give a fuck”.

I don’t think that phrase means what you think it means.

I’ve heard young women throwing the phrase around like it’s this week’s bae or fleek.

But I see them giving fucks about EVERYTHING. Constantly. They GAF about those K-people on TV. They GAF about the person who cut them off in traffic. They GAF about the random stranger who said something rude to them.

They are bleeding GAFs.


What, exactly, is not giving a fuck?

It is a skill. A skill most refined in mature women who have seen a thing or two in their lives. Who have lived through several life altering events.

The biggest misunderstanding is that not giving a fuck means that you don’t care.

No. Not at all. It means you care DEEPLY.

But you ONLY care deeply about the things that matter to you. Traffic? No fucks. Latest celebrity scandal? No fucks. My granddaughter? ALL THE FUCKS.

My friend TOJ (The Other Janet – Janet Edens Conover) once said she saw her GAFs as a trust fund she was born with. The older and wiser she became, the less she was tempted to throw them away. She needed to save her GAFs for important stuff.

Judi Dench

To truly not GAF, you must know yourself. Intimately. You must be emotionally and intellectually honest with yourself. You must be able to forgive. To move on. To not carry forward the burden of fucks you wasted in the past. You will not be afraid to speak your mind because you know how precious your fucks are and you will not waste them. No matter how hard people try to make you give one.


Know your circus.

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